Depression

There is a war inside my head

I'm fighting a war with myself

My body

My mind

My thoughts

On the rough terrain of the cerebellum

My feat are starting to hurt

I'm getting weary

For going out every day fighting the pain

Trying to stop it from trickling down to my heart

And every night gun shots inside my eardrums

Trying to penetrate the thick wall my depression has put up

Separating me from the rest of the war

Maybe someday the war will end

And I can go home and be happy

Every soldiers dream

This war is weakness and anger against itself

Others judge me, standing trying to block out my own screams

They don't see a solider

Just a teenage girl

And her problems

They think the reason I cry is because I have had a rough life

Not because everyday the walls of this depression fall in closer

That it's a normal feat for a teenager

So let them judge

This is a one-person war

I am my own worst enemy

With battle scars to prove it

If they could imagine their worst day

Magnify that by ten

Then maybe they would know what I am fighting against living

Every day, as the sun brings light into peoples windows

My warrior is blinded, the war seems obscure, and it is easy to place my hands on this brain tissue and push away

Yet some days the sun forgets to rise for a while

And it is easier to fall back asleep and stay in bed until it does

Later the sun is drawn back into the billowing pillows of clouds

And its time to take a bath before I lay my head down again

So I run the water

Ring the salty drops from my eyes

Washing away the images of the war

I am a missionary, my own missionary

Here to fight a war for me

Against me

Against my depression

In me